What I tell clients when everything feels too hard to fix


Welcome to The Reset Room, a space for reflection, renewal, and real-life tools. Each issue brings you one personal reset for your own growth and one parenting or co-parenting reset to strengthen the relationships that matter most.


💫Personal Reset Topic: The power of a Small Reset

Have you ever had a season where everything felt too big to fix--where you didn't even know where to start, so you didn't start at all?

I once saw a client who felt paralyzed by the thought of moving forward after losing a job; they had self-doubt, fear, embarrassment and did not know where to begin.

Instead of tackling a résumé rewrite or job search right away, we created a Micro-Reset Plan — small actions that could restore a sense of direction without overwhelming them.

🧭 The Simple Reset Plan

  1. Start with Routine, Not Results.
  • Each morning, they got up at the same time as if they were still going to work.
  • This one act re-established structure--signaling the brain that life still has rhythm.

2. Do One Task That Builds Competence.

  • We picked one 10-minute task each day that reminded them of their capabilities; sending one text to a former coworker or organizing a corner of their workspace.
  • These tiny wins start retraining the brain to expect progress instead of paralysis

3. Reconnect with Purpose

  • We identified one thing each day that gave them meaning outside of employment--walking the dog, cooking a meal, journaling gratitude.
  • Purpose anchors the emotional reset while the practical steps unfold

4. Celebrate Completion, Not Perfection

  • Each night, they reflected on what did get done, even if it was just showing up.
  • This reinforced a mindset of self-trust over self-criticism.

Within a few weeks, the fear hadn't vanished--but their confidence had quietly returned, and the job search became less about desperation and more about discovery.


💫Coparenting Reset Topic: The power of a Small Reset

Have you ever had one o those days where everything that your co-parent feels like a tug-of-war -- every message misunderstood, every word taken the wrong way?

A coparent once said to me, "I wish I could just erase yesterday and start over."

My response was simple.. "you can".

When communication gets tense or emotions run high, it's easy to believe that one bad exchange defines the whole relationship. But in co-parenting--just like in life--progress depends less on being perfect and more on learning how to reset quickly and intentionally.

🧭 The Co-Parent Quick Reset (3 Steps)

  1. Pause Before You React.
  • When something triggers you--a message, tone, a forgotten pickup--pause before replying.
  • Give yourself 10 seconds (or even 10 minutes) to breathe, re-read, or step away.
  • A pause interrupts the automatic fight-or-flight pattern that escalates conflict.

2. Reframe the Moment

  • Ask yourself: "What's my goal here?"
  • Is it to prove a point or to keep communication open for the child's sake?
  • That single question shifts focus from emotion to logic and intention.

3. Restart with Neutrality.

  • Once you've cooled down ere-enter the conversation with a neutral tone and clear language.
  • "Let's start fresh on this topic" or "I'd like to look closer at the schedule to make sure we are on the same page"; these communicate both maturity and boundaries.
  • It models emotional regulation for your child and keeps co-parenting business-like, not personal

Whether you're rebuilding a routine or rebuilding communication, the same truth applies:

🤔Small resets lead to lasting change. Try one today.

I would love to hear what thoughts come up while reading this newsletter and would love to hear your questions or ideas for future newsletter topics. Hit --REPLY--and I will get back to you.

Tina Souder, M.Ed., LPC-S

I’m a counselor, counselor supervisor, and parenting facilitator/coordinator passionate about mental health — especially when it comes to helping families navigate coparenting. My focus is on reducing the stress and conflict that can impact both adults and children. Subscribe and join over 1,000+ newsletter readers each week.

Read more from Tina Souder, M.Ed., LPC-S

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